Family Vacation and Respite in One!

Wow!  It's hard to believe that in just ONE MONTH Milena and Aleks will have been home for an entire year!  Where has the time gone?  It feels like they've only been home a few months, yet that they've always been here!

School ended for the kids at the end of June (for a 2 week period, they go back next week!)  On Friday, June 23rd we left at 4:30am to go to the annual Reece's Rainbow Reunion.  This year it was held at the Jelly Stone Campground in Mammoth Cave, KY.  Jason and I have been looking forward to this trip for several months.  Don't get me wrong, we have some AMAZING friends and family in our community, but to be able to spend an entire week with other families that have adopted children with special needs is a HUGE blessing!  These other families "get it."  They don't judge you or your children as they've likely been there and done that.  The fellowship and comradery is much needed for parents of children with special needs.  It provides a bit of respite even.

There are people out there who will say things like "you asked for it" or "you brought this on yourself" in regards to the behaviors or medical problems that accompany an adopted child with special needs.  To an extent this may be true as families prepare the best they can when they know the child they are hoping to adopt.  They research the conditions and medical needs before ultimately saying "yes" to adoption.  BUT adoption also has many surprises and I dare say that most families at one point or another feel they have bitten off more than they can chew.  (I was there when Claudia first came home and wanted little to do with me except bite me and pull my hair!)  Just because a family decides to adopt a child with special needs does not mean that they have it all together and don't need support.  In fact the opposite is likely true.  All adoptive families need the support of the friends and family.  Adoption is a beautiful thing but it is also hard.  Adoption puts added stress on families for a time.

Imagine being taken from the only home you've ever known (no matter how poor the conditions) and being placed into the arms of strangers who talked funny and smelled funny.  Now imagine they are hugging you and holding you tight when you've never been cared for in such a way.  This holding makes you feel confined and you don't like it, so you strike back, you scream, cry, hit kick, bite... and try to get away by any means possible. Now these strangers are trying to make you eat foods you've never had before so you rebel and refuse to eat.  You don't know who these people are or if they are going to hurt you.  Now you are placed in an unfamiliar bed and expected to sleep.  The sounds are different than what you are used to, perhaps it's too quiet.  There are no other children crying.  Perhaps the strangers are singing to you in their funny voices but you don't know what they are saying.  After several days of this, you start to get used to these strangers and maybe even like them!  Then the next thing you know, you are on a noisy airplane and your ears hurt.  Upon landing there are dozens of strangers with funny voices doting on you but you are exhausted and not used to being fussed over, so you break down... again.   Now you find yourself in another new place, the strangers call it "home."  It is unlike any place you have been before, yet another change in your life.  As you start to get comfortable with the strangers who call themselves "Mommy" and "Daddy" you wonder when the next change will come, will another set of strangers come and take you away?  You have not known much stability in your life, so you don't know what to expect...

You see, adoption is not a fairy tale in the eyes of the adopted child.  At least not at first.  Many children don't understand what is happening to them and can react very poorly to the process.  Often times it can take several months or longer for a newly adopted child to feel secure in their new home.  At any time something can trigger a memory from the past and set them off.  Most families go through a "honeymoon" period with their newly adopted child as the child begins to feel secure and wants to please their new family so they can stay.  After the honeymoon many children rebel and want to test the limits to see if they'll be sent away for negative behavior.  It's after this rebellion phase that children generally start to come around and integrate themselves into the family.  They begin to realize that family is forever and that no matter what, they will have this family forever.

Adoption is hard but oh so beautiful!  Other adoptive families genuinely understand this.

This is why Jason and I looked forward to our week in KY.  We got to spend a week together as a family without the interruptions of school and work, and we got to spend the week with some other amazing people and awesome kiddos.  The other great parts about the Reece's Rainbow reunion was getting to see the children that we'd followed online, to see the real life the transformations that family can have on a child, and to give and receive encouragement.

Our children had a blast!  Most of our days were spent in the pool.  Claudia has been a fish ever since our first Reece's Rainbow reunion in 2014 and loved every minute of it.  Aleks was unsure of the water at first but quickly decided it was a giant bathtub to splash in.  He did great and was even maneuvering himself about the pool.  Milena was afraid of the water at first, despite being able to touch the bottom.  After much work she too was swimming all over the pool with her life vest on.  Milena has even learned to jump into the pool (she previously was unable to jump in a forward motion at all!)

Besides swimming we met Yogi, had cookouts with other families, played at the park, made smores, jumped on a jump pillow, went to a zoo, mingled with the other adoptive families, met some truly amazing children and got away from the daily grind!

Smores are messy!

The zoo we went to was called Kentucky Down under which featured several different animals from Australia including a python, dingos, kangaroos, emu, laughing kookaburra, cava/mara and more.  They also had sheep, goats, donkeys, peacock, tropical birds, owls, working dogs a draft horse and more.  That place was something else!  While there we got to pet and feed kangaroos!  I never thought they would be as soft as they were!  I even found a kangaroo with a joey in it's pouch and felt it kick! We also got to feed the lorikeets which where beautiful birds!  Milena loves animals although she was somewhat nervous around the goats and sheep as well as the lorikeets.  Milena was fine petting the python.. go figure!  While feeding the lorikeets Milena had one land on her shoulder and head, whe was NOT impressed and got a little freaked out but she did really well and didn't even scare the bird away!

Just chillin!

This red kangaroo had a joey in her pouch!

Claudia was trying to kiss the bird!

Claudia wanted to blow the goats nose!

This was a BIG horse!

We had an amazing time at the reunion this year and look forward to being able to go again.  Everyone was sad to leave and wanted to stay.  We truly had a nice break from our day to day lives and were able to relax and enjoy time together as a family.  I hope over the years that our children will be able to build friendships through these events!

Everyone in yellow was adopted with the help and support of Reece's Rainbow!
Thank you Reece's Rainbow!