Adoption Update

As usual, I've been pretty bad about updating this blog as our lives have been rather busy.

As I said in my last blog post we're adopting again!  This time we've chosen a little girl who will be turning 11 this summer.  She's been on our radar since December of 2014, while we were still in the process of adopting Milena and Aleks.

This little girl who goes by the pseudonym "Alexis" was listed on Reeces Rainbow in December 2014 by our adoption agency Hopscotch Adoptions Inc.  At that time I had not even met Milena and Aleks but felt instantly drawn to this little beauty.  I can't explain it but deep down I secretly wanted her as my daughter.  I'm not going to lie, I have somewhat felt that way about other children before but a seed was planted the day I first saw her.  Now fast forward to March of 2015 when I finally got to meet Milena and Aleks, during that trip I was talking with the translator in the car about Claudia, Milena and Aleks and was joking around how if we added a 9 year old to our family, all of our children would be 3 years apart in age.  At that time Aleks was 3, Claudia 6 and Milena was 12.  I told her that I had seen "Alexis" was available for adoption and joked that she would be our next addition to fill in that gap.  It was then that I learned that "Alexis" already had a family that was coming for her.  I was happy for her and honestly didn't think we'd have been able to adopt her anyway as we were adding 2 at once already which seemed overwhelming at the time.

Fast forward several months, I noticed that "Alexis" was still listed as available on one advocacy site but she was no where to be found on another.  I inquired about this (if she was indeed available, I wanted to be able to advocate for her and if she was not, I didn't want anyone thinking she was still available.)  I was told it was a mistake and she was quickly relisted on the site.  I didn't think too much of her being taken off and thought that perhaps our translator had misunderstood which child I was talking about during our conversation.

I tried to do a few unsuccessful fundraisers to boost "Alexis's" grant and shared her profile hoping a family would come for her.  Nothing happened.

Jason and I were neck deep in doctors appointments and adjusting to new life in general but I often brought up adopting again.  In my head and my heart I went back and forth several times whether I thought we would and could adopt again soon.  One part of me felt like my child/children are out there waiting and it's not fair to them but the other part felt too overwhelmed already.  I'm pretty sure Jason just thought I was crazy!  "Alexis" stayed on my mind though.  There were other children during this period of time that I also felt drawn to but they either got families or I'd change my mind.  I kept coming back to "Alexis."

Jason and I continued to have discussions about where we were in life, what we could handle and what we couldn't.  Neither of us were sold on adopting again but the pull was there. God has a way of gently tugging you where he wants but it's up to you to take the final leap.  We decided to ask our adoption agency for more info on "Alexis".  We got a bit more info along with older pictures we had not seen before.  After going over the new info we decided it was not enough for us to make a decision one way or another.  We had so many appointments and had a very specific family dynamic that was working for us.  We knew we could not take on serious medical conditions or behaviors so we inquired further.  It took a few months for our adoption agency to get an update.  Once we finally got the update we spent some time going over it and decided to go all in.  If "Alexis" was meant to be our daughter, God would make a way.

We had to take out a rather large personal loan to help us pay for the initial adoption fees since we'd just bought the new house.  But we needed the house in order to adopt and also felt that it was our duty to do everything we could to get "Alexis" home as soon as we could.  By this time she was already 10 years old.

We started plugging away at our Home Study and getting all of our paperwork started for our Dossier.  I started picking up extra shifts at work and we worked to save as much money as we could.

In November we were able to submit our USCIS I-800a paperwork to the US Gov. for approval.  Once we got their approval we would be able to send our Dossier over to "Alexis'" country for translation and review.  We were able to submit our Dossier in late February.  Unfortunately there have been changes in the government out "Alesix''" country which caused some delays in reviewing any Dossiers.  Finally on April 14th our Dossier was supposed to be reviewed.  At this time we're still waiting to hear news from her country.  Once we get our first Prime Minister approval we'll be invited to visit with "Alexis" and accept her referral.  Once that happens it'll be another 4-5 months before we can travel again to pick her up.  We're still hopeful that she will be home by the end of the year!

In case anyone is wondering what ever happened to the family that was in process to adopt "Alexis" I did eventually get some information.  Actually from my understanding there have been at least 2 families before us that have wanted to adopt her!  A few years ago an Italian family tried adoption her but was unable (I don't know the details on what happened) and then an American family started the process to adopt her.  The American family was also unable to complete the process and actually contacted me after we announced our plans to adopt "Alexis" and explained that circumstances occurred in their lives that made them unable to continue the adoption process and although they were sad that "Alexis" would not be their daughter, they were happy that she finally had a family coming for her.  I keep in touch with this family and they are great cheerleaders for us!

The total adoption cost for "Alexis" will be around $35,000 which includes everything from agency fees, translator fees, US Gov fees, wire transfer fees, express mailing fees to medicals, flights, apartments and more!  We started the adoption with a loan, since then we've done several small fundraisers.  We were invited to go speak at the First Baptist Church of Manchester where they graciously did a bakesale for us!  The Church raised over $600 for us which paid for our NY State Apostilles!  "Alexis" had a $10,000 older child grant which we will be able to access once we get our first travel dates.  We also received a large donation anonymously made directly to our adoption agency.  As I said before I have been picking up a lot of overtime at work which has brought in a good amount of additional income for us.We currently have an online auction going on which should net us about $1000 which brings us to needing only $5000 more to be fully funded and several months to do it!  I continue to sell Norwex" www.angelinevanhalle.norwex.biz and Origami Owl: www.origami4orphans.origamiowl.com to help raise funds for the adoption.  I try to post our fundraisers on my Facebook page every now and then but I don't want to bore or alienate my friends.  If you are interested in our current auction which ends on Thursday you can find it here: https://www.facebook.com/pg/VanHalleAdoptionJourney/

If anyone would like to make a tax deductible donation to our adoption of "Alexis" we have a FSP set up through Reece's Rainbow HERE.

Sorry for the long post!  I think that just about catches everyone up on our adoption of "Alexis."

Here's the photo that started it all (with the addition of text by yours truly!)

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5 Year Plan

We had a five year plan.  A great, solid financial plan.  A plan to increase our income to a point that I could work  part time to be with the kids and Jason more.  A plan to buy acres and acres of land, to build a big house that our family could grow into, that the children could stay in with us forever if needed.  We stayed on track with that plan for a whole 7 months before veering!

Then, things changed.  Through the summer I spent hour upon hour cleaning our house and purging unneeded things.  I finally got around to moving some items that came home with me from Armenia, over a year ago! Several of those hours were spent in the attic, purging, sorting and moving various totes and boxes around.  After spending so much time up there, in the sweltering conditions, I think something got to my head!  I began thinking that we should finish half of the attic for more living space.

To be honest, having 5 people in a 3 bedroom house was getting rather suffocating, especially with all the kids "stuff!"  Despite the purging I'd done already I could not bring myself to get rid of enough. After several discussions, creating a Pinterest board of finished attics and even sketching out some renderings of the possibilities I was excited that we could have more space soon!  Jason, being the more practical of the two of us (I mean he IS the Engineer after all) began looking into the preparations we would have to do and what it would actually take to finish part of the attic.  After some research we learned that in New York State if you finish the 3rd story, (aka an  attic) of a wooden structure, you must put in a sprinkler system.  I know we've probably all seen finished attics where the home didn't have sprinklers in the ceilings, but we wanted to do this by the code.    After discovering this news, I became disheartened.  I was really looking forward to having breathing room but this option was no longer cost effective for us!

After having my dreams of enlarging our home crushed, I went onto the MLS to search for houses  that could fit our needs.  I honestly did this somewhat as a joke to blow of steam. I came across a lovely house (with a lot of space!) and it had an open house later that day!  So at 1:30am I sent Jason an email saying that we were going to buy that house, jokingly of course.  Because I work nights I was asleep for most of the day, I woke up around 2pm, got dressed and told Jason I was going to the open house.  He was fine with that, after all it was only a few streets from where we live.  So off I went.  I liked what I saw although the house was in desperate need of updating (the master bedroom was an ugly green with gold carpets!) but what really caught my attention was the storage space, the size of the rooms, the huge yard and quiet street.  I went back home and asked Jason to go look at it and he did.  Jason came home stating "It's in rougher shape than I thought!"  He listed some of the issues, mainly the updating it needed and then to my surprise asked me if I wanted to put an offer in on it!  What went from a joke at 1:30am turned into "let's make an offer" by 3:30pm.  Jason and I troll the MLS frequntly so we know the market and know a good deal, so this was not (completely) a spur of the moment decision, it was an educated one.  That night we had an offer sent to the homeowners.  The next day we went back and forth with the homeowners once or twice and just like that we had an accepted offer!  It took about 37 hours from the time I half-jokingly told Jason I wanted that house until the time we had an accepted offer!  Sometimes things really work out.

Well, there goes our 5 year plan!  BUT we were comfortable with disturbing our plan in this way.  It was a good compromise.  The house we bought will keep us comfortable for several years, so for now I'll call it our 10 year plan!

We're putting the finishing touches on our new house now and should be all moved in soon.  We're excited to have breathing room and a place for the kids to safely play.  The house will bring us much needed space and an additional bedroom!

With the bigger house, bugger yard and just overall more space it'll be much easier for our family to grow!  Many of you already know that Jason and I have begun the adoption journey yet again, and for those of you that didn't know, well now you do.  Our journey to "Alexis" will be saved for another post!

Our New Home